ramblings

cancer sucks.

It was an interesting weekend.

I hesitate to say it was a "rough" or "difficult" weekend, but it certainly was interesting - and I use that word only because I can't think of another word to describe it. I kept myself busy, listened to a lot of unrelated podcasts, and tried not to think about Nils. Nevertheless, I did think a lot about nils, and I ended up with a mind-numbing spaghetti-mess of random thoughts, none of them organized. A lot of thinking could be characterized as reflection and analysis. Reflection on my last year with Nils, and my regrets there. Analysis of why I had some of the opinions I have regarding how this whole thing was and still is being handled.

The last time I ran was Friday - I found out about his death at around noon, and so I took the afternoon off and went for a 5-mile training run through Ramapo Reservation - and made sure to include lots of hills and some moderately technical singletrack, the point being to sufficiently challenged myself to 1.) train for a 10-mile trailrace in mohonk next weekend, and 2.) see if i could take my mind of nils for an hour.

On Sunday, I was invited to play tennis with some guys from my church. Not having ever played tennis - pretty much ever - I really enjoyed the experience and got a good workout too. Thanks to all the running I've been doing, I was able to play for three hours straight, without stopping. Yesterday (Monday) I was slightly sore in some odd places, but that was to be expected.

And Monday, I did my best to get stuff done at work but it wasn't a particularly productive day. Now, Thursday night, I'm just getting caught up.

By Tuesday, I was starting to get past it.. as much as you can, anyway.

There is a lot more I could say in this post about the stuff I'm going through regarding Nils.. but I thought better of it.

Like I said, I haven't run all week. I think I'll try to do a run tomorrow - because, the way my schedule is, I probably won't run Saturday. Sunday is a 10-mile trail race that I'm really looking forward to. It'll be my first organized race on something other than roads. The whole idea thrills me.. and while 10 miles is a pretty long race and I'm not exactly in tip-top shape, it's not exactly a marathon, either. The Elevation profile looks challenging but not extreme. Lots of rolling hills. There are a few sustained climbs, but not too many, only one looks super-steep and none of them are particularly long. Bottom line is I know I can do it, and it should be a lot of fun.

Nutrition-wise, I was having a really hard time staying disciplined as described two posts ago. As a result, I must resort to doing what I hate doing, but experience has shown that it works: logging everything I eat in Fitday.com. It's tedious, it's annoying, it sucks, but it works. And not only does it work, it also gives you guys an opportunity to check up on me to 1.) make sure I'm updating it, and 2.) make sure I'm eating properly. The link is: http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=stevetursi. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to check that link, and check it often, and give me a kick in the ass if I'm overeating. The goal is to get to 250lbs by ski season. I'm 39 lbs away.

Sorry about the infrequency of posts lately, but things have been crazy at work and at home. As all things do, this too shall pass, and I will be sure to keep throwing my rambling diatribes at you via this blog.

So until next time,

-steve