7-11 syndrome..

i like double gulps. 64 ounces - thats half a gallon - of a tasty carbonated beverage, usually diet pepsi. i like coke better than pepsi, but diet pepsi better than diet coke. and boy, do i have it down to a science. i have about ten double gulp cups that i keep either in the car (in queue to be used) or in the house (in queue to be washed). I keep the cups because you can get a refill of any sized drink for about a buck. at the 7-11 closest to my house its 96¢ for a refill, and i always give them a buck, usually on the way in, not the way out - if i gave them the buck on the way out, i would be obligated to stand in line. and since i'm a regular and always get the same thing - they know that when they see me to put out their hand for the dollar.

so i have this great system set up - and there's only one problem with my great system. it's going to kill me. think about it - how long can a guy live drinking a half gallon of who-knows-what chemicals every day for years? as a result, i am trying to cut back and become healthy. now life loves its petty ironies, and in this case the irony stems from the fact that on the way to the gym, which is three miles, i pass two 7-11s. each time i drive by it i feel like an addict being drawn to his drug - which actually isn't that far from the truth. the irony, of course, is that i get drawn to this drug while on the way to the gym - a place where i go to become healthy. and at the gym i put my body under certain stresses that make it crave even more the nice cold flavored water filled with toxins it doesn't recognize. today i've even gone to the point of filling a double gulp cup, complete with lid and straw, with cold water to suck on while 7-11 is drawing me towards its evil gates into a bastion of stuff that is not good for you.

i am, however, making progress. today i resisted the temptation. yesterday i was not in a temptation resisting mode, and i had two double gulps - that's a gallon of crap, kids. in fact, this week, in three days, i've had three double gulps - which is actually kind of a relapse from two weeks ago when i only had one in five days. it's still better than a couple of months ago when i was having ten a week - that's two a day, every day.. for a couple of months.

the gym is actually helping. despite the cravings induced by body stress, the healthy mindset that i get while working out, which includes visualization of me climbing big mountains, actually detracts from the urge to do harmful things to my body. indeed, yesterday in the midst of a gallon of tasty beverages i did not work out. so victory over my urges is imminent - if i can be persistent with the workouts - and perserverence, completion, and long-term goals are not exactly some of my strong points. but the great thing about working out is that the harder you work the body, the more mentally tough you get. and every day i'm getting a little better.