news from florida - naked crack-smoker attacked by an alligator

I've never been there, but stories like this give the impression that Lakeland FL must really be a messed up place..


http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/southwest/orl-gator11292006-bk,0,1463816.story?coll=orl-home-headlines



LAKELAND -- A man who was attacked by an alligator this morning was naked and smoking crack at the time, Polk County deputies who rescued him said today.

The alligator had the man in his jaws when deputies arrived at Lake Parker in Lakeland about 4 a.m. today. They were called by nearby residents who reported hearing a man yelling for help.

The first deputy on the scene was unable to free the man, Adrian J. Apgar, from the alligator's mouth. It wasn't until 3 or 4 of them were in chest-deep water that they were able to pull him free after the tug-of-war.

Apgar, 45, of Polk City, suffered a broken arm, partially amputated left arm and trauma to his left leg. Doctors are trying to reattach the arm at Lakeland Regional Medical Center, where was listed in critical condition.

"We don't know whether he'll make it or not," said Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

According to a news release from the Polk Sheriff's Office, "The very dark conditions and risk of injuring the victim made shooting the alligator impossible, leaving deputies to contend with their own safety after becoming exhausted in waist deep mud. All deputies made it out of the water without injury."

State fish and wildlife officials captured an 11-foot alligator that they think was the biter.

Deputy Billy Osborne first heard the man's cries for help but couldn't see him through the thick brush and dark sky.

"'I have two broken arms and an alligator's got me pinned. I can't move. Please help me,'" the Polk County deputy sheriff related at a news conference today.

As Osborne listened, he followed the voice through more than 20 yards of brush in Lake Parker's murky, chest-deep water about 4 a.m.

Then he saw them: a naked man crouched down in the jaws of an alligator amidst thick cattails in bloodied water.

Other deputies pursued, following the man's cries, Osborne's voice and the sounds of the alligator thrashing around in the water.

Osborne grabbed onto the man's arm and tried to pull him free.

"We were pretty much playing tug-of-war," Osborne, 26, said.

After about 30 seconds, the alligator released the man.

Judd said Apgar told deputies he was smoking crack-cocaine at the adjacent park, but it was unclear why he was naked or why he was attacked by the alligator.

No one answered the door of Apgar's home in rural community and neighbors knew little about him.

Joey's first time skiing!

It was only a few feet, but it was the first few feet Joey has ever skied! Video is from Friday, Nov 24, 2006 (he was born on Feb 6, 2004)

i'm basically a junky in need of a fix

killington is opening tomorrow (thanksgiving) for the 2006-07 ski season. it's the latest opening in at least 37 years, probably 43 years. Last year they closed on May 1st, which is the earliest closing in 33 years. It all adds up to the longest off-season in decades, on the order of about 205 days.

we're heading up this afternoon to vermont and are going to spend our first night in this year's ski house, which is enourmous. Tomorrow, at 7:59am, I am going to be standing near the front of a lift line, ready to get my first turns of the season.

yeah, i am a junky. waiting for opening day has been difficult. i've been unproductive in my work, lazy in my personal affairs, and slacking in my training. i've got skiing on the brain, and every day things are more difficult to manage. after tomorrow, things should be better.

speaking of after tomorrow, that will be joey's first day on skis! i called up today and bought his season pass - which, for two year-olds, includes daycare, two daily one-hour ski sessions, lunch, and equipment rentals. it cost twice as much as me and alex's ski passes combined. cha-ching.. but hopefully, it'll be well-worth it. two of his best friends are in the same program, and that basically means he'll enjoy it..

I ran three miles last friday.

My brother has an IMDB page

not much there.. but holy cow. that's pretty cool.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2063225/

It's certainly much cooler than

the likes of which have been occupying about half of my time lately.

School Starts January 22, 2007..
4 units of Physical Geology
4 units of Calculus 1
2 units of Educational Planning (the school requires 4 units here to graduate)

After this semester, I'm going to need credits in Western Civ, Other world Civ, Humanities, and Arts in order to complete the SUNY General Ed Requirements. wee.
This semester is going to include the Natural Sciences and Mathematics Courses.
My major is Math. There needs to be 30 total math credits, including 24 at Calculus 3 or above.

-steve

calculus???

it's all coming back to me now..
"the limit of the function f of x as x approaches a equals a real number L if and only if for all epsilons greater than zero there exists a delta depending on epsilon such that x is in some sort of delta-deleted episilon neighborhood around a implying delta had a brain aneurysm when walking by epsilon's house because he tried too hard to pass AP calculus."

I may have screwed something up on the second half of that statement - but i'm pretty sure the first half is right on. yeah, that's what was written on the board as a high school senior in my first day of AP calculus. I can't remember the teacher's name (alston maybe?), but I remember the first half of that.. It actually was the hardest part of the class - probably because it was so damn intimidating to a calculus student who still wasn't sure what calculus was.

Of course, thirteen years later, I don't even know what calculus is.. what's more is that I'm not sure I ever did know. I remember something about limits.. and derivatives.. and I can probably describe both of those concepts to somebody.. but can I actually work with them anymore? hell no.

so yesterday I was informed that, in order to complete my undergraduate degree at SUNY Empire State College, I would have to complete 24 units at Calculus 3 or above. I was enrolled in Calculus 1 (as a refresher) and sent on my way. I start class in late January.

In high school, the car I drove was owned by my parents. My net worth was right around $0 (which is about $20,000 higher than it was about 7 years later), but I knew calculus, dammit! Now my net worth is a bit more than $0 (i own real estate - wee!), yet I'm pretty sure that I can't manage calculus anymore, even as a refresher, unless I boned up on my algebra and trig.

So I strolled into a Borders yesterday and picked up "Calculus for dummies" (a title that seems ironic to everybody but calculus students), sat down, and read the first chapter, which is a review of precalculus. perfect! I was lost. A few things looked familiar, but I didn't even know what I was looking at. Then I got scared when I saw the quadratic equation.



Here's how my mind went..
first thought.. "x equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b-squared minus four-a-c all over two-a"
second.. "I had to know that for my Algebra 1 class! Wow! What was that teacher's name?"
third.. "what was that used for, anyway?"
fourth.. "wait a second.. after algebra 1, I had to take algebra 2, geometry, trig, and then precalculus, all as a prereq to AP calculus"
fifth.. "that's five effin classes that I need to review or else i'll be lost when my class starts!"
six.. "i'm screwed."

I didn't buy the book. Instead, I went home and printed about 300 pages from wikipedia, hoping to bone up on a bunch of math concepts. I also found an online precalculus review. ok. that's a start.. I started reading, and quickly fell asleep. it's going to be a tough two and a half months.

I wonder what the derivative of my panic will be as the calendar approaches the start of classes?

christmas

people keep telling me they don't know what to get me for christmas.

the answer for most of you's is, you don't have to get me anything..

but for the rest of you, this should give you a good idea:



i like comedy.

-steve

ron paul is up for reelection / 4.5 miles

lets check out the website of the poor bastard who's running against the most principled person in congress!

http://www.shanesklar.com/

New York politics update:
Eliot Spitzer is leading the republican candidate by 50 POINTS!
Hillary Clinton is leading the republican candidate by 35 POINTS!

nothing to see here.. please go on with your business.

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I ran 4.5 miles before breakfast yesterday. I've been slacking lately - it was my first run in 13 days, since the 18-miler two weeks ago. I did well - maintained about an 11 min/mile pace, which was more than expected, but I did feel a little extra weight from two weeks of non-exercise and eating like shit.